


We pull together. We pull apart. Please stop my beating heart.

by Costa_Cat



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Maggie is sad, Sad, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7617226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Costa_Cat/pseuds/Costa_Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth is dead. Her father is dead. The world has gone to shit There's very little left for Maggie Greene, and she's realising that the best option is to opt out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We pull together. We pull apart. Please stop my beating heart.

**Author's Note:**

> So this came to me at like 5 AM and I'm happy to finally be posting it. This isn't beta'd so any mistakes are completely mine.

 

Seems like Beth is right- was. She _was_ right. Maggie still hasn't come to terms with the fact that her sweet, innocent little sister is dead. Gone. Just like that. Maybe Carol was wrong when she said that being nice gets you killed. It had kept Beth alive. She had changed, that much is true, she did become a little bit meaner, but she didn't become cruel. So yeah, Carol was wrong when she said that it was being nice that got you killed, because in the end it was being mean that got Beth killed. She wasn't there, but she heard the story. More times than she would have cared for. Her sister tired to kill Dawn, she tried to be mean, and all she got for it was a bullet in her brain.

 

So maybe Beth was right (looks like she's getting better with past and present tense) when she was in her room back at the farm house. If she and Beth had just opted out at the point, then she wouldn't be in this situation now. She wouldn't of had to go through all this fucking shit of being told that her little sister was alive and then she was taken away form her before she even truly had her back again.

 

Okay yeah, there is the good times. Little Judy taking her first steps, her little laughs and giggles. Seeing Glenn smile or laugh. Those times are great, they really are. But is anyone actually fooling themselves into believing that the good outweighs the bad? Hearing Glenn laugh is amazing, and hearing Judith gurgle and giggle is too, but it's happening less and less and she doesn't know if it's worth seeing everyone happy for only one hour a week. She can't help but think that although Judy is laughing now, she'll be crying and hungry very soon, and there won't be any food to give her.

 

Maggie just plain doesn't know if she wants to fight any more because honestly what is the fucking point. Stay alive to have walkers tear the flesh from your bones whilst you watch, completely helpless? Slowing starving to death? Someone else playing god and murdering you- probably for the hell of it. Ending it your own way, on your own terms? Or you live. But you live alone.

 

Thinking more about it, that's actually the only options you have in this good for nothing world.

There are five ways that your story can go, and once you realise that, you understand what everyone else was thinking before they quit, what made them opt out.

 

The first one is Walkers taking you apart, tearing limb after limb from your body and you can't think because there's so much pain and you're crying, you're screaming, you're screaming so loud and you're frantically looking for you loved ones, to hold their gaze just one last time. Or you get bit, and you realises that the game's over. You just lost. No extra life's. No second chances. One bite and you're out, one bite and everything is over.

 

The second one is Natural Causes. It may seem better, because it's well natural, but what's good about slowly starving to death? Watching your loved ones die knowing that you can't do anything about it, that they can't do anything about it, and you're just stuck with this feeling that you weren't good enough, you're weren't strong enough to save yourself, or your family. So you just sit there, getting more weak, more exhausted and more hungry or thirsty or more cold knowing full well that you could have prevented this, you could have _stopped_ this, but you weren't good enough. You were nothing but a failure. Game over, you have lost the game.

 

The third one is some ass hole decides to kill you. And if the knife or bullet goes through your head, you just have to think 'I didn't win' or 'this is really it'. And then it's over. Just like that. Everything you've worked so hard for is gone in the blink of an eye. But if it's not a head shot, if you're left there to bleed out, you have so much to think about. It's overwhelming because this is your last chance to say what you have to, and there's so much important words you want to say like 'I love you', 'please be strong' and also 'goodbye', but there's so much stupid shit going through your head as well. Like how you didn't to have a chat with that nice lady, or bake that cup cake you wanted to, or you didn't get to share that shit joke with Glenn and then laugh about it after. You didn't get to do any of those, and you never will because you're too late. This is it. It's the end. Game over and you haven't even said your last words because you were too busy processing the fact that you're going to die.

 

The fourth one is suicide. But it's not as bad as it sounds. You get to chose your own last words. You decide how you die. It's your choice. You get to do all those things before you go. You tell them over and over 'I love you' you beg them to be strong and you say your own, calm goodbye that isn't rushed. You have that time to reassure yourself that they're going to be strong, you make sure they know that you love them. You can chat with that nice lady, you can bake that fucking cupcake and you can laugh with Glenn like it's your last day on earth because it damn well is. It won't be too late. You spend your last day on earth doing all of those things you wouldn't of had a chance to do and then when the sun sets and makes all those pretty colours across the sky, it's perfect. It's fucking perfect because you're not rushing anything, you're not scared and everything is peaceful. It's perfect because it isn't game over. And just as you're about to pull the trigger you realise that you've won the game.

 

Then there's the fifth one. Quite possible the worst one. Because if you're fate is too live, then you live alone. You become the last man standing. You remember every single person you have ever known, met and loved. You spend your days buried in grief, sorrow and guilt and eventually it drives you towards insanity. You become like Morgan. You refuse to end it yourself, and you also refuse to let Walkers bring you down because you will not die like your brothers had died. You desperately want everything to just stop but whenever you come across someone you kill them before they even have the chance to acknowledge your existence. You find someone who outsmarts you and hey either take you in, and with in time they make you whole again and the cycle repeats itself. You don't win the game. You don't lose the game. You have just simply restarted the game. Or, if they don't take you in, they hold you at gun point and you beg them to end it, please please, just make it stop. You hold their gun to your head, their fingers on the trigger and you beg them to pull it. Please. And if you're lucky; they will.

 

So as Maggie lies here on the ground, gun pressed to her temple, she weighs out the options. Which is the worst one? She couldn't tell you, but she knows which one is the best option. It's not a hard decision it all. Beth had it right from the get go.

 

She pulls the trigger.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry guys! Kinda sorry, Kinda not. I'm in search for a beta so here's my tumblr if you're interested: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dark-meadows


End file.
